


You Send My Heart Around

by QuillMind



Series: Angstentine's Day 2017 [3]
Category: Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Comfort Sex, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Other, Reader-Insert, Self-Sacrifice, Smut, Tragic Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-22 16:01:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9615230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuillMind/pseuds/QuillMind
Summary: It was the most sound strategy: you would sacrifice yourself to defeat Grima and save the world and those you love.  You were successful--but what happens to the hearts of those very ones you saved who had their friend, mother, and wife taken away from them?





	

**Author's Note:**

> Inspiration comes from ["Found Someone" by TastyTreat feat. Tribes!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UIZDx_fJXkM)

Normally you were not this forward.  It should have been Chrom's first hint that you were planning something, but given that it was the eve of an epic battle that would essentially determine Ylisse's future, a desperate desire for physical intimacy seemed reasonable. 

There was a lot of noise as you pulled Chrom's armour and clothing away and he did the same to you, but the racket only signified how hungry you were for each other, and thus further stirred your lust.  You pulled his face to yours and kissed him so aggressively that your teeth clacked together, pausing the heat between you two momentarily as you made a noise and separated. 

"Sorry," you said breathlessly, smiling as you slid your hand over his chest. 

"Don't be," he muttered, cupping your cheeks to resume to kiss.  The dismissal caused a twinge in your heart, for you knew he would not feel so forgiving later on. 

You sighed into his mouth, those lips that felt so good against yours it made you want to melt.  Blindly your hands swarmed over each other's bodies, both knowing where to find the spots that drove the other wild.  Other nights, you would have taken your time in slowly building up the fire, but tonight you were already blazing, burning inside with need. 

The bed was in the corner of your tent, but rather than go there, you pushed Chrom down onto the table where you kept your maps and books on strategy.  He began to protest out of concern for your things which you were usually so careful with, but you sealed his words with your tongue and straddled him, sweeping away the papers and quills that were near his head to let them litter the ground along with your clothes.  It didn't matter anymore if your maps got creased or ripped, or if your books lost their pages.  You wouldn't need them after tomorrow, anyway. 

You liked the warm comfort that your thick robe provided, but being skin-to-skin with Chrom was a feeling that had yet to be surpassed by anything else.  Grinding your hips against his, slathering his erection with your juices, you both had the same look of thin-eyed pleasure, shuddering and moaning at your mutual lasciviousness. 

Licking a long stripe up his chest, you went to the side and drew his nipple into your mouth, feeling it pucker as you teased it exactly as yours did when he did it to you.  He huffed shallow breaths and twitched when you bit him lightly, and when he shot you a slightly annoyed look, the devilish smirk that was there to meet it instantly dried his throat. 

More books and maps fluttered down from the table as you were flipped onto it, and they were soon joined by everything else that was left as Chrom's thrusting became harder and faster.  You had always held back your voice, biting your lip and covering your mouth in these moments, as you were embarrassed about the idea of the other Shepherds hearing your cries.  But with the end of the world at hand, why worry about that? 

"Chrom," you said raggedly, "harder... Do it harder..." 

He nodded and gave you a kiss that was alarmingly gentle, then ran his tongue along your lower lip and sucked on it.  The sudden change from chaste to carnal prompted your breathing to hitch, and he used that unguarded moment to draw almost all the way, then snapping his hips brutally back in.  The feeling of his cock hitting against that mysterious, unbelievable spot in the deepest part of your body made you shriek and roll your eyes back. 

You had been so glad that Chrom was the one to take your virginity.  If he wasn't, you had no way of knowing who did.  In your most naive moments, you allowed yourself to fantasize that you were born on that field surrounded by wildflowers, where Chrom and Lissa had found you.  Lissa, giggling and blinking her large eyes at you with her pigtails bouncing, and Chrom reaching out to grab your hand--the one with the Mark of Grima. 

That same hand now laced its fingers with Chrom's as he loomed above, your legs resting on his shoulders as he pummeled your center over and over.  He gasped your name repeatedly, and it made you want to cry. 

"Chrom... I... I..."

You were the child of Validar, the very enemy of Ylisse.  You were the Heart of Grima--for all intents and purposes, you _were_ the Fell Dragon, the amalgamation of evil that sought to bring ruin to everything in its view.  Surely a man of a royal family like Chrom would have gotten a thorough enough education to recognize the mark on your hand as that of the extremist cult that worshipped the vile creature.  It would have been prudent for him to regard you with distrust, or suspicion at the very least, but instead he had treated you fairly from the very beginning and came to trust you with his life. 

Perspiration gathered hair at the sides of Chrom's face into wet spikes.  "You feel far too good," he groaned, each word punctuated with a harsh thrust. 

Because he was that stupid?  No, because he was that kind and caring.  And that was why you had to do what you were going to do. 

_"I love you."_

You had never thought hearing those three words would make you feel so sad--yet they also served as the final push you needed.  Your back arched sharply and you called out Chrom's name in the thick of your climax, and you savoured the sensation of him filling you with his release, both bodies vibrating with euphoria. 

You knew now that asking Chrom to promise to kill you if you were ever overtaken by Grima's influence had been a cruel request.  How could one possibly deal with the burden of having to strike down someone they love?  It had been wrong of you to ask such a thing. 

If you wanted something done, you needed to do it yourself. 

****

Even with your boots on, you could feel the heat of Grima's gargantuan body radiating to your feet.  His scales shifted and slid against each other like metal plates with every move, making for a wavy terrain that was greatly disorienting. 

Yet your resolve was solid and calm as you summoned your strength, watching a specter of yourself--Grima in human form--attempting to recover from the Shepherds' all-out attacks.  The same malignant, violet energy that crackled around him coalesced into your hand. 

 _"WAIT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"_ Grima growled, his voice a twisted blend of yours and something ancient and terrible.  The sound of it had scared and disgusted you once, but not anymore.

Power that you never knew you had flashed into a focused orb, and you flung it at Grima without hesitation.  He screamed, wide-eyed with pain and fury, and his dragon form joined in, roaring so loudly that the air trembled.  You stayed quiet, though you shared their agony, making sure to watch as Grima fell for the last time.  Just as he disappeared, you noticed the sun was about to rise, washing the sky in a beautifully warm palette.  Wisps of colour and tiny stars began fluttering from you in the wind, and you looked at your hands to find that you were fading.  Death was spreading through your body. 

You turned slowly at the sound of Chrom shouting your name. 

"No," he cried, shaking his head as he approached, "no, no, no, what have you done, my love?" 

"What I had to," you answered, eyes flickering to Lucina and Morgan who were running closer.  "Because one thousand years of peace would still come to an end eventually." 

"Mother!" Morgan exclaimed, clutching one of his tomes hard enough to warp its shape.  "Please don't go, not again!" 

You drifted to your young son and bent down to ruffle his dark hair--indigo blue, just like his father's.  "Oh, Morgan, I must," you said, your brows knitting in sorrow.  "But I will always love you no matter what.  Please be strong, and do your best to become an even better tactician than me, okay?" 

He sniffled and nodded, not trusting himself to speak coherently.  Lucina stood behind him and held his shoulder, and she stared at you with watery eyes. 

"Lucina," you started, feeling more of yourself disappear by the moment, "You were right when you said that sacrifices are necessary to avoid a dark future.  When I refused to let you kill me, it wasn't because I disagreed with your judgment.  I just didn't want my daughter to get her hands bloody.  You're a lot like your father, so I know the guilt would eat you up inside.  I only hope that this way, both you and the other little Lucina back in Ylisse will grow up to live a happy life." 

Lucina's hand dug deeper into Morgan's shoulder.  "Mother... I..."  She couldn't make it past two words before the tears began spilling down her face. 

The sun's rays were now cutting over the horizon, the light making your fading form even paler.  Chrom could now see the space through you.  With a frantic grunt, he snatched you into his arms. 

"Don't do this, my love" he pleaded, some part of him hoping that if he held you hard enough, he could keep you from leaving.  And yet when you gently pushed him back, he winced and withdrew like he'd been struck. 

The touch of your hands on his face was weirdly insubstantial, a facsimile of the caress of skin that he was familiar with.  You closed your eyes as you kissed him, but he did not, being too afraid to take his eyes off of you.  The sensation of your lips was hardly felt, registering as only a faint warmth concentrated at his mouth.  It had only been yesterday when he'd squeezed your soft flesh and drowned in the heat of your body, but that felt like a lifetime ago now. 

You stood back and did your best to manage a smile.  "May we meet again in a better life," you said, words and thoughts slipping away as you came to an end.  "I love you, Chrom..."

The sound of his name distorted as your voice and body finally vanished, leaving the Exalt of Ylisse to weep in the dawn. 

****

Your sacrifice had saved the world.  The blight known as Grima was gone.  Upon the Shepherds' return, all of Ylisse rejoiced, and nations near and far celebrated their victory.  Chrom went along with it all, maintaining his role as the strong and dependable Exalt that the kingdom needed, giving a moving statement to the people about how they no longer had to fear the Fell Dragon and there would be peace throughout the land. 

Peace.  The concept was laughable, given that inside, Chrom was a wreck. 

Never once did he neglect in his duties as Exalt.  No matter what, he loved his people and would not dream of failing them because of personal reasons.  But every once in a while the strain of acting infallible would become too much for him, and he'd be short-tempered and snappish with his council, sometimes even being cold to Lissa.  Then Frederick would take him aside to provide a reality check, and he would apologize, and things would be more or less normal again until the next time.  He constantly found himself pausing by the library where you would spend hours studying, and sometimes thought he heard your voice or felt your presence.  Your marriage bed was now dismayingly spacious, but he always stayed on his side, resting his hand where you would be laying until he fell asleep. 

His children were his salvation.  He and Lucina made each other laugh and she loved to spar with him, and though her younger counterpart could not even speak yet, anyone could see through her energetic fussing and strong grip that she would share her older "sister's" temperament.  Morgan was quite different, being more into observation and academics than swordplay, and would keep Chrom on his toes every day with endless questions about how Ylisse was run, the everyday duties of an Exalt, and political relationships with the other countries.  Both son and daughter had mourned openly for a week or so, then stopped crying at all, at least in view of anyone, coming to Chrom with brave smiles and saying that they would strive to live their lives happily as their mother had intended.  But Chrom could see the sadness tugging at their faces, and it tore at his insides. 

Almost a month after you had disappeared--he could not bring himself to say "died"--he told his council of his plan to go and find you, and that he would not return until he had.  It was Lucina who had urged him to finally leave; she would watch over Ylisse in the meantime, with Frederick and Morgan closely guiding her. 

You had chosen to give your life for your family and Ylisse's future.  But had you thought even for a second about the more immediate, tangible consequences?  Did you think about how much everyone would mourn you afterwards--not just your children, but the other Shepherds?  And what of himself, your husband, who wasn't free from the thought of you for even a second, and felt your absence as an all-too real pain that made it hard for him to eat, sleep or breathe? 

He would be sure to ask you these questions when he found you.  Naga had said that it would not be impossible for you to return if the bonds you had with your loved ones was strong enough, and if your bond to _him_ was not strong, then Chrom wouldn't know what was.  And when he had you back in his arms, he knew he would never let go ever again.

**Author's Note:**

> Thought I'd delve a bit deeper into the whole self-sacrifice/did it out of love thing, and how that impacts those left behind. Chrom's reaction to the Avatar's sacrifice in the ending is relatively tame in context if she's his wife, so I wanted to portray him as more devastated. But given the post-credits bit, there is a bit of hopefulness here. :)


End file.
